How to engage with an emotional octopus

An octopus is intelligent. They show their emotions by changing their position and colour. Scientists say octopuses avoid places where they have had negative experiences before.

An octopus is a metaphor for how I view heightened emotions during project change.

Emotions show up in where we stand, who we stand with, and how we show up.

There are lots of triggers in the pressure-cooker project environment in which organisational change often occurs. Increased workloads, time pressures, performance expectations, and ambiguity can remind people of pain they’ve felt before.

When talking to someone experiencing emotional stress during project change, I imagine the octopus.

I visualise untangling the tentacles—identifying where their response is coming from, sizing the problem, appraising the context, and talking things through to the end of each tentacle.

It’s an octopus for a reason because there’s always several tentacles to get to the bottom of!

I asked some of my Escient change management colleagues how they engage with emotional octopuses in their work – they had great tips!

I should probably share eight, but here’s half an octopus to get you going –

Evaluate early warning signs

Heightened emotions in project change are common, but not inevitable. Sometimes a stress response from individuals or in specific phases of a project can predict what’s coming for others next. Consider whether the response you are observing is an early warning sign of something more systemic.

Contain a crisis

Be aware of the risks of emotional contagion. Consider creating a space for sharing that is time-bound, giving air to emotions without undue extra weight. You can also structure your day to manage the impact that high-intensity conversations may have on your emotions and work.

Know your limits

As change professionals, empathy is one of our strengths, but we are not therapists. Leverage other structures and support networks where needed. Lean into trusted colleagues who can provide an impartial view and support.

Don’t take it home!

The tentacles of high emotions at work can be pervasive. It’s important not to take an emotional octopus onboard. The commute used to diffuse stress but with many working from home, look for fresh ways to express what you need and decompress the day.

As a profession and a discipline, change management values empathy. Escient change managers use their empathy superpower with care.

What emotional octopuses are you wrestling in your work right now?